Mood:  down
Now Playing: Today
What I miss...
I miss you being the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing on my mind when I fall asleep. I miss the highlight of my day being talking to you. I miss waiting in anticipation for you to come on and hating it when we parted. I miss those nights when I was so excited at the very thought of you that I couldn't even sleep. Driving in the car each morning I could feel you next to me, in me, like a special presence. I miss enjoying life just because I knew you were part of it. I flet like I could fly, I'd lose my breath at the thought of you. I miss getting high on you...getting my trip out of every word you said and everything you did. I looked at every project you made as a work of art. I longed only to lean on your chest and hear your heart beat, to finally look into your eyes, and run my fingers through your hair. To be part of each other physically as I knew we were at heart.
Who or what took that all away? Every word I said was true every emotion I felt so acute. Now I cry in pain at what I lost...it's gone lost forever...There's no way to start over again. Yes, I was in love...But it's gone. What did I do to deserve it's being taken away from me? Now I'm back in the dark life, trying to stumble my way through the world. All my emotions drained and dried up. I'm like a drug-addict who loses his dope, like a drunk being dried out. All I want, all I yearn for is that feeling again. Without it life seems so meaningless. Without it, what am I? A wanderer and a fool...with no one live for, no one to pour myself into. I feel like a heartless shell, with no relish for anything around me. I just want to sleep it away- the urge is so strong. Fighting a batlle against myself continually. Distracting my mind for the hell of it. When will it cease? ....I was in love, that much is certain...but now I have nothing and doubt if I will ever know that wonderful feeling again.

"How can you pick up the threads of an old life, when in your heart you begin to understand...there is no going back."